So it's time for me to decide.... continue with rowing on a crew team.... or don't. Honestly, getting up at 4:30 AM, is not that easy... carrying this heavy boat, is not that easy...but it's all worth it for that "rush" you get on the river. My concern is... by nature, I'm NOT a competitive person. I've NEVER been competitive (I may strive for my own personal best in a few things)...but winning is and never has been important to me. We have a joke in my family... my younger sister is one of the most competitive people I know. In everything. Growing up she always beat me... I became used to it - if it was a simple card game, ping pong game, race in the pool, skiing, tennis and even when it comes to a fun stint of charades...she keeps score and WANTS TO WIN! AND, if I ever DID WIN...it was automatically "best out of 3" then "best out of 5"... she'd wear me down and inevitably she would win... maybe I just gave up. So, I can "sort of" blame her, but won't allow that ... I start to sweat when people take out a board game...I conveniently disappear!
I think this crew venture is stirring up those childhood feelings... but it being such a team sport, I can't let down the other women - who are in it to win! My husband wants me to give it my all... and until I do and conquer my complex - I'll never know for sure. The truth is... I'm OK at it... and know I can only get better.... So with full gusto... back on the water at 5:30 AM... gulp.