Today, on my way home from school I stopped at a very dear friends to help her out... a simple request "can we borrow your jumper cables"... of course, good excuse to see her, etc.I learned earlier in the week her dear elder mother who's been suffering from heart failure was back at her house after another stay at the hospital... this time they were having Hospice to help out.
Talk about unconditional love... talk about setting our priorities straight. I spent maybe 40 minutes with her mother while she went to start a car and do a quick errand. EVERYONE needs to spend 40 minutes with someone so sick...yet so sweet and in their final phase of life. Something we all avoid to address...our final phase of life. How blessed they both are to have each other and the means to allow her Mom to be comfortable in her home... hospital bed on the main floor of the house with all the standard gear of someone aging.
Her Mom's memory is not as sharp as it must have once been....but sharp enough to show sincere appreciation for what she has... a family that is willing to include her in their life and make sure she is well cared for, in a home. We're not all as fortunate to be able to supply that...but even those that are fortunate may not be willing to endure what it entails.
In 30 minutes I learned about all of her grandchildren, great grandchildren and how blessed she was to have such a wonderful son-in law. She knew she was blessed to be in a family setting and be able to look outside and see the beautiful blue sky and day light. She knew she was a burden and referred to it more than once. She wanted me to look at every photograph in the room and refer to them and ask her about them. She was sick...but not so sick she was not appreciative for what she had.
Life comes and goes in a full circle...we all experience it at one time or another... I'm grateful to have a mother currently in wonderful health...but I remember very well having grandmothers who were not in good health and visiting them and making sure visits to them were part of our lives.
The lesson... I don't really know... but I left with a heavy heart... somewhat happy to know the elder parent was in such a loving setting... but seeing the look and worry on my dear friends face... knowing it was in her hands... encouraging her to take advantage of people giving her a break... and hopefully her knowing that life is a full circle... we're just not always on top of the circle... a true testament to peace, comfort and dignity.
1 comment:
I hear you on this. For Lent I am really trying to be concious of other's suffering. it is so easy to go about your own business and feel because you're not hurting someone you are doing well, when instead it should be-unless you are helping someone...you really are successful.
Anyway, I am at the big apple feis, I think Elaine is there on Sat. But I have to set up and sell until 7ish.
I may meet up with you all from there.
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